


Growing Pains

by ImperfectOrphanage



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 09:22:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10694094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperfectOrphanage/pseuds/ImperfectOrphanage
Summary: Every anniversary of his ascension, Joshua looks back.





	Growing Pains

Joshua kept a calendar and a diary for the first year he was Composer. He enjoyed looking back at the progress he’d made with Shibuya, and with his powers. The diary and calendar were usually kept in his closet, in a shoebox covered in stickers and scribbles. He’d had a hard day in the past, and spending time with the children of Shibuya had cheered him up. It was their decorations on his box.

Inside, next to the calendar and the diary were bits and bobs of things he’d received over the years that held a special place in his heart. There was a purple cat plush on a keychain he’d received from an eight year old who had taken a shine to him. Linked to it were two keys, one for his old apartment, and one for a storage locker he no longer owned. Along with the keys and keychain, he had a handkerchief made of lace and monogrammed with his initials. Under those, he had a series of greeting cards and notes he’d recovered from his belongings before they were Erased.

He didn’t think much of the diary or calendar for 364 days out of the year. The one day he gave thought and attention to it, was his anniversary.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I had a mishap involving my shoes. I was not quite ready for the ability to bring life to inanimate objects, and the pair of shoes began to talk to me. One of the shoes requested I slowly slide my foot into its mouth, and the other began to lick at my ankle. Needless to say, I had to burn the shoes._

Joshua laughed at the memory. He remembered taking the ashes to Sanae, as he wasn’t sure if he should scatter them as if they were alive, or if he didn’t need to worry about the soul-or sole-of the shoes.

_Dear Diary,_

_Another strange incident. I should work on telekinesis. While I was cooking pasta, I accidentally brushed my energy against the carton of eggs in my fridge. Needless to say, I now have eight chicks to rear and I’m not quite sure how._

Ah, yes. The chickens. He’d forgotten about having to get a pass to another region just to deliver the chicks to a small farm. The Composers between Shibuya and the farm still sent him notes in the mail each year to tease him about the chickens.

_Dear Diary,_

_I have a new friend. His name is Poppet._

Joshua glanced to the side at the box on his bed. He set the diary down and pulled the handkerchief from the box. Beneath the cloth was a small, jointed doll. Lifting it from the box, he set it his palm and nudged the lump of resin. It had frightened him the first time.

_“Hello, Joshua! I’m your new friend!”_

The doll hadn’t moved for years. Joshua wasn’t sure why he kept the doll. Perhaps out of fondness for the spirit once possessing it, or perhaps because he needed something to hold onto to remind him of when he was just a child playing God.

Joshua sat on the bed and held the doll in both of his hands. “Hello, Poppet. I’m sorry I haven’t found you a home. Perhaps one day-“

It shifted.

He stared at the doll and watched as it stretched it’s arms and legs. The doll looked up at him and a wide grin spread across his face. “Hello, Joshua!”

“Hello,” he whispered in return, “you haven’t spoke to me in years.”

“You haven’t listened,” the doll said, walking from Joshua’s hands to slide down his legs. He wandered the floor and hummed as he looked at the different things in the room. “You’ve changed.”

Joshua glanced at the corner where the doll stood. A pile of clothes were overflowing a basket, as Neku was quite terrible at remembering to do the laundry.

“You’ve got a new friend,” Poppet whistled, “and he’s cute!”

“Shh,” Joshua reached down to scoop the doll back up, “don’t speak so loudly.”

The doll tilted his head and smiled. “Is he here?”

“Yes. He’s on the sofa. Neku had a hard night.”

“Neku? I love the name! Can I see him?”

Joshua sighed. “Poppet, who are you?”

“Who am I?” The doll tapped his chest. “I’m you, silly!”

“What do you mean?” Joshua sat on the floor with his back against the bed. He watched Poppet hop from his hands and disappear under the bed for a minute. When he returned, he lay on his stomach and kicked his legs.

“You’ve got socks under there,” he said.

“Poppet,” Joshua said again, “who are you?”

The doll stood up, tilted his head, and stared at Joshua with a pair of beautiful blue eyes. “You don’t remember at all, do you?”

“I-“

“Ugh, Josh, please keep it down in here I’m-“ Neku stood in the doorway in a pair of shorts and a shirt too short to cover his stomach. He scratched at his hair and hugged a pillow with his other arm. “Are you playing with toys?”

“Hello, Neku!”

The Conductor smiled and started to reply before squealing much like Beat and tumbling backward out of the room on shaky legs. He crawled back and hit the bistro table near the balcony. “The fuck is that?!”

“It’s not a pig,” Joshua said, “or a cat.”

Neku squinted at Joshua. “You mean, it’s like Shiki’s?”

“Not quite,” he replied, holding his hands out. “Poppet was created when I became Composer, quite on accident. I was new to the position and was not aware of the magnitude of my abilities. He hasn’t come to life in a few years. I’m not sure why.”

The doll stood on Joshua’s hands and leaned up to embrace his neck. “I told you, I’m you.”

“I don’t understand.”

Neku rubbed at his eyes, pinched his arm, and frowned. “He doesn’t look like you but…he feels like you, y’know? It’s like…the music in you and in him are the same. Only…he feels light.”

“Light?” Joshua pulled the doll back with his hands under the doll’s arms. “What do you mean?”

“Well, maybe…maybe he’s like a part of you. The part you don’t like?” Neku crawled over to poke the doll in the side and it giggled. “At least I’m not worried about him porkchopping me in the back of the head or something.”

Joshua laughed. “No. He might eat your soul.”

“I would not!” Poppet squirmed. “Hey, Neku, do you want to play a game? Or maybe we can color in some books and draw pictures! I like dressing up, too.”

The Conductor grinned as if he knew something Joshua didn’t. He stroked the doll’s hair back and tickled him under the chin. “He is you.”

Joshua was exasperated. “Would someone please explain to me what you two mean?”

“Think about it, Josh,” Neku sat down, knees brushing Joshua’s knees, “what’s the one thing you don’t like showing to anyone?”

He looked down at the doll. “I suppose…it would be my imagination. The one thing I need most of all is the one thing I want to protect more than anything.”

“That’s it. That’s Poppet,” Neku said. “He’s an innocent representation of imagination.”

Joshua blinked. The doll waved at him and smiled with a slight laugh. “…something to protect. Of course. No wonder you haven’t come to life for a while. Neku…would you take him?”

“Why?” Neku held his hands out regardless, and Poppet sat comfortably in his fingers. There were paint stains and pencil marks on Neku’s fingers. “I mean, he’s yours, right?”

Joshua rose to sit on the bed. His hand patted the mattress and Neku soon followed. “When I became Composer, I was full of energy. I had ideas and hopes for her future. There wasn’t a moment I didn’t practice being a Composer. I constantly researched and touched the lives of many people. Back then, I would wander the city to inspire the artists. However…as the years wore on…I became disillusioned with Shibuya. I no longer cared for the beauty in things. I did not see the magic in what could be. Her people…I hated them. I seethed in anger at what I perceived to be their shortcomings. But it wasn’t. It was mine. I had failed Shibuya.”

“Josh-“

“But,” he said, staring at his socks, “you came into my life. You taught me what it meant to be alive. You reminded me of the good things in life-of chili dogs and warm laughter. You would talk about things and I loved to hear the excitement in your voice. You brought question to my heart and I wondered if I had made a mistake by betting Megumi over the existence of my city. The moment I pretended to die for you…was when I was reborn. You, Neku Sakuraba, brought life back to the hidden corners of my soul. You brought life to my imagination and in addition, you gave breath to Poppet. He is yours now. I want you to protect him as much as you protect me.”

Neku’s bottom lip trembled. He stared at Joshua in awe, and he glanced at the little doll sitting on his hands kicking it’s legs. “I…okay. I mean, yeah. I’ll watch over him and you.”

“Thank you,” Joshua whispered. He wrapped his arms around Neku and tucked his head in the crook of Neku’s shoulder before leaning back. “Neku, you smell of sleep.”

“Fuck you, too,” he teased. “Fine, I’ll go take a shower.”

“Hooray! I will watch you!” The doll exclaimed.

Neku plopped the doll onto the bed before making a dash toward the bathroom. “The hell you will!”

“Hey, come back! I just want to see you!” Poppet tumbled from the bed and ran at full speed to the bathroom door-now shut-just to peek under the crack. “Hello, Neku!”

“Gah! Get away from the door!”

“Aw, don’t put a towel there.”

Joshua hid a laugh behind his hand.

It was quite obvious to Joshua that Poppet was indeed him.


End file.
